An Anna for your thoughts!!!

A seventy four year old man moves the masses to combat corruption. We do our bit by liking his fan page on face book, holding a candle light march and discussing it in drawing room debates. The media as always turns everything into a circus, headline grabbers like a certain swami jump into the fray and a serious issue becomes the latest weapon wielded by self serving politicians to promote their selfish interests. Somewhere in all the brouhaha the real purpose seems to have lost its shine.

 It is suddenly cool to be wielding the national flag and proclaiming ‘I am Anna’. Point is it doesn’t matter whether you are Anna, or a daily wages laborer who couldn’t care less or even a cynic who feels that war against corruption doesn’t stand a chance. Chances are that most of the people voicing their support are unaware of the implications of what they support. Lack of awareness about issues that govern our lives is unforgivable especially if you are taking a stand. It’s amazing how we have managed to turn an issue of such importance into merely a trend!!! Irrespective of whether we support Anna or not the one thing I feel everyone agrees on is that corruption needs to be weeded out. Secondly everyone has a right to their opinions and also the right to hold a peaceful protest in order to be heard. No doubt a start has been made and that’s a big reason why a lot of people find themselves behind the cause, for better or for worse. It’s better than sitting about waiting for things to right themselves. Fair enough!

Corruption however is a vice which has its tentacles firmly entrenched in the fabric of our nation. It’s not a monster created over night. We have fed it and raised it in our hurry to be better than the best. It’s been accepted and around for so long that a lot of us will not recognize it if it stares us in the face. I can bet my money on tainted people being part of these rallies too…..imagine asking them….given a bribe ever?? Of course they’ll say….there was no other way. Bribed the ticket collector on a train ever?? Of course!! Stopped for speeding and whipped out a hundred to cover it??? Yes! No act of corruption is too small. The same people agitating against corruption that runs in to crores are doing it in smaller ways in their everyday lives. I wonder how the passing of a certain bill is going to fix that!

Reminds me of a time in college when we had just given an exam. As we stood there discussing the questions the topic as usual turned to how a lot many had managed to cheat. They had written on desks (which by the way were sandpapered first to remove the notes already on it!!!!!), they had carried chits, written on walls next to their seats…. It was a lot of hard work! A friend’s cousin visiting from the US listened on to the conversation and then very calmly told us how at their college two batches give the same paper one after the other with a fifteen minute break in between. Same paper, same questions and yet not one student asks or gives out the questions. Unbelievable right??? You could have heard a pin drop. But as soon as he left he was labeled a fool and Americans too….imagine not cheating when the opportunity came to you on a platter???!!!!Cheating is not a form of corruption??? I believe it is. In fact it is where it first makes an appearance in our lives and then settles there under one pretext or another. No movement however big can weed out corruption if we don’t do it as individuals in our everyday lives. But amid all the din and mass hysteria arising from multitudes swarming the streets….who will hear the voice of reason coming from within?

mama everyone else is on face book!!!

When they talked about the joys of parenting they did forget to mention that the hours were long, the breaks negligible and the perks usually late in coming. As I race through each day it seems like a whirlwind of appointments that no one apart from me has any intention of keeping. So I rant and I rave, talk to myself to calm down, pin a smile in place when I’m dieing to scream and all in all walk a tightrope to avoid utter chaos.

In between running my girls to school and classes, birthday parties and such comes the onerous task of actual parenting….teaching them values and principles. Of what is acceptable and what is not. It’s hard to not let my world-weary cynicism and sometimes my over-the-top idealism seep into these conversations but I do try.

So every now and then certain issues creep up which will just not go away. The issue of a face book account being one such. My two daughters all of nine years and eleven want to have an account on face book. Well this isn’t something new….They have been wanting this for almost two years now and I am fast running out of arguments in the face of the never ending refrain…. ‘But mama everyone else is on face book’!!! Truth be told most of their friends and even some younger to them have face book accounts and they are unable to fathom how something that is ok for everybody else is not ok for them. I do not profess to be all righteous and claim that I haven’t given it a thought.  I have to admit that I have toyed with the idea myself, though briefly! Sometimes it’s just so much easier to say oh what does it matter…have it your way! Saves us a lot of anguish and the children a lot of whining and cribbing! I have perused the privacy policy but it is clear as to the legal age for joining. This of course makes it imperative for underage children to be untruthful about their age in order to make an account.

If I do allow them to do so how will I instill in them the sense of right and wrong?  We have become lax as to bending rules, cutting corners in our hurry to keep up with the rest of the world. All of us have done it as part of our growing up and even today when we feel life is just that much easier without staring uncomfortable truths in the face. Maybe it’s a small thing but I have not been able to bring myself to allow them…… just yet. I am of course being constantly badgered and to be honest my patience wears thin each day! I am hanging in there……but just!!!!

Finally I do not know whether it will even be worth all the effort. Will I really have achieved something by all the discussions I have with my girls regarding what’s acceptable and what’s not? Or will it ill-equip them to deal with a world which survives on a (to use a very Indian term)…. ‘chalta hai’ attitude???

But yes I can just hope that somewhere in the future they will understand why it was important for me to stick to certain rules (for however long I could!!!)and I hope they will have courage to do the same

my gang of girls

Its something to do with the age we find ourselves at I guess. Suddenly there is a need firstly for ‘my space’ an erstwhile unheard of notion and secondly your girlfriends have yet again become the much needed support system, your ‘sisters in arms’, your sounding board. Reminds of the time spent in school where every young unaccustomed new feeling was thrashed out, discussed and by the end of it usually our troubles had evaporated in a peal of laughter!!! Secret crushes, the angst of growing up, our dreams for tomorrow were all wrapped up in a blissful time spent breezing through life which on hindsight everyone agrees was the time of our lives’!!

Somewhere along the way we all moved away to careers, different cities and husbands and children…… yet the more we moved away the more we stayed together. Years down the line all it takes is one comment on facebook, one phone call or sms to make my day so much better. I hear of someone’s success and it’s as if I have achieved something, another one has a baby and I moon over the little ones pics as if it were my own child. In fact distances not withstanding even today those five friends continue to encourage me with words and sometimes a much needed kick on the derriere!!!

Since this is my very first post I dedicate it to all the friends I have had and the ones I have now. Life would really not be the same without our long talks, our smiles and our shared tears! My attempts at blogging are very much due to the unabashed and wholehearted trust that some of my friends have in my capabilities. They have had faith in me ….at times when I didn’t have any faith in myself!! What would I do without you!!:-)